May 2nd, 2012
Facebook and other social media outlets are truly a marvelous invention…until it gets in the way of your relationship with your surrogate mother or intended parents. We are often reminded to watch what you post because you don’t know who may be reading your blog, timeline, or tweets. Employers are often vetting applicants by Googgling them and reading the latest activity or looking at the newest photos. Even if your privacy setting is on the most restrictive there are ways to get around all of that!
When you are sharing so much information out in the cyber world you have to take into consideration what others (Intended Parents (IP), case managers, surrogate mothers) may think of your cartoons, announcements and status updates. If you have an unusual ritual that may flip out even your closest family member just think of what an IP may think especially if you are already pregnant with their child. Perhaps you are an intended parent struggling to quit your smoking habit and are posting that online. If your surrogate mother doesn’t know of this issue at the start of your relationship she may ask herself what else has been hidden from her. If a surrogate mother, who has agreed to cut back on her caffeine, posts that she has already had 3 cups of coffee and it’s not even 9 am she may have a concerned phone call from her IP’s.
This is not about hiding facts or holding back but more about watch what you post or tweet because the reactions on both sides could be filled with misunderstandings.
Tags: becoming a surrogate, becoming a surrogate mother, facebook, IVF center, social media, surrogacy, surrogacy agencies, surrogacy journey, surrogacy process, surrogate agency, surrogate mother, surrogate pregnancy, The Surrogacy Source
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March 20th, 2012
When a woman first thinks about becoming a surrogate mother, often times the thing that comes to mind is how easy it was for HER to have become pregnant and given birth to her own child/ren. We often hear a woman state “my husband just has to look at me and I become pregnant” or “we just talked about adding to our family and the next thing we knew, we were expecting number 4!”. But we all know that is not how surrogacy works! (and if you don’t then just read on!)
First of all a surrogate mother’s husband is not involved in getting her pregnant! His sperm has nothing to do with the process so if the intended parents are having male factor issues, that right there could mean a long haul for everyone involved. For a Gestational Surrogate (also referred to as Gestational Carrier), her eggs are not being used in this process either so if egg quality is a factor that could mean failed transfers as well. For a woman, the new surrogate mother, who has never experienced failure when attempting to become pregnant, this could be an unwelcome experience!
Second, becoming pregnant via IVF is no picnic. As many intended mothers can tell you, the pills, shots, creams, blood draws and appointments can get old fast! It is a huge responsibility to agree to become a surrogate mother for someone else and agree to put your own life and, lets face it, physical comfort on hold while you attempt to become pregnant with someone else’s child.
Third, your family also is impacted by whatever happens during the surrogacy journey. No matter if the process goes relatively smoothly or if there are canceled transfers, chemical pregnancies, miscarriages or a rift in the relationship, families are always involved and effected.
All of these issues can be minimalized by having a great surrogacy agency by your side. The initial phone call should educate a woman who wants to become a surrogate mother to all of the responsibilities that she needs to be aware of within the surrogacy process. And these responsibilities will be repeated throughout the matching and contract phase of the program. No surrogate mother should have any question about what is expected of her or where she can turn for answers and support!
This is just the tip of the iceberg and we want to hear your comments!
What were your biggest surprises when you first looked into surrogacy? What are some of the things you wish you knew when you started the process of becoming a surrogate mother?
Please share your best advice! We want to hear from you!!
Tags: become a surrogate, become a surrogate mother, becoming a surrogate mother, gestational carrier, gestational surrogate, intended mother, intended parents, IVF, IVF through surrogacy, male factor infertility, pregnancy, surrogacy, surrogacy agencies, Surrogacy agency, surrogacy commitment, surrogacy process, surrogate agencies, surrogate agency, surrogate mother, surrogate pregnancy, The Surrogacy Source
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